“Attention, may I have your attention please,” he began. “I am Wallace Thrinklebopple, and I hereby declare myself emperor of these United State... of America. Thank you, I’ll be repeating this message as needed. That is all.”The crowd didn’t know how to respond.MEANWHILE! AT THE WHITEHOUSEThe president did. He called his cabinet and began “Well, folks, I guess we had a good run, but we’re out of a job. The Emperor Wallace Thrinklebopple has spoken. Let’s send him a plane so he can take his. Around eleven-ish when the pubs closed, I gave up and made my way home.To be honest I was really losing the plot by the time I got home again. One of my good friends and his girl had gone back there with me, I do believe, to prevent me from doing anything stupid. Their presence did calm me down a little actually and I’m pretty sure that it was safer for John to drive the car home that night than it would have been for me to have done so.John and his girlfriend Stella only lived a few streets. “OK he began again let me ask you some questions answer them either Yes or No OK?”“OK” she nodded.“Be truthful or you will be an internet star before the end of the day you understand?”“Yes.” She understood that part at least.“You have been fucking men while you were married to Daniel correct?”“Yes.” “So far I can show you have fucked at least ten men you understand?”“Yes.”“I am sure there were more than ten wasn’t there?”“Maybe.” Her voice quivered.“Yes or no only slut, I will ask you again. ' Trying to steady my shaking hand, I bought a copy of The Sun and saw on the front page a large clear photograph of the girl now hiding in the car park loos, a couple of hundred yards away. It showed Sarah topless, in a carefree pose at the beach. If I hadn't known its dreadful import, it would have made me sigh at her natural sexiness, the unembarrassed smile that shone straight at me.I went to the chemist, intent on buying bleach, makeup for a blonde, hairdressing scissors, and dark glasses..
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