" I continued to mentally count downthe distance to the mirror I would use.A loud beep sounded, the deep 'whump, whump, whump' of aHarley rumbled in m... ear."Hey kid!" A booming voice called out. "Where's the road totake me to the interstate?" I turned and looked down thestreet, pointing."It's about three or four blocks that way, turn at thelight. That's the street that will take you to theinterstate..." I felt my head turning, it was as if I werein slow motion... my movement slower than my. He and I and a male friend. I was not into it. I wanted him and only him. I didn’t want to be used like that. But after a few conversations of him cajoling, I gave in, because I would do anything to get him back. But with conditions. Condition number one was that guy had to be small and shy. I didn’t want two big dominant types making me into a toy. I wanted at least to have size and boldness over the other guy. Diego assured me he could get a guy with those qualities. I told him I wanted to. Don’t look at me like that. I know I’m stupid but I’m in love. If you hadn’t had your nuts cut off you’d know what it’s like.’ I closed and locked the door behind me and the cab drove me to her flat. The entryphone buzzed and I took the lift to her floor, the twelfth. The door of her flat was opena dn a smell of something garlicky emanated from within. I went in, closed her front door and walked through to the kitchen. A glass of red wine was waiting for me on the side and she turned from her. The men were just a means to an end to receive the sexual gratification that she needed to focus enough to work another week analyzing people with emotional problems not as severe as hers. Where most men would consider her a slut and most women would consider her a whore, she was just as lonely as she was lost and as lost as she was crazy. Steven, Steven, Steven, even after twenty years, there was a spot reserved for him. The memories of him took up so much of her conscious thought. She lost.
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